Scar Tissue
by Dance Elle Dance
Summary: It has to be a dream, waking up in a hospital bed with IVs in each arm and monitors beeping in his ears. She has to be a dream, this girl by his side with the tears in her eyes. RyanAlexis, oneshot


_**Disclaimer:**_ _I don't own Castle._

 _ **Summary: It has to be a dream, waking up in a hospital bed with IVs in each arm and monitors beeping in his ears. She has to be a dream, this girl by his side with the tears in her eyes. RyanAlexis, oneshot**_

 _When inspiration strikes, it really strikes, that's for sure. I was so happy when I was hit with this little plot bunny, because I love Rylexis and just really wanted to write more for them after my previous fic involving them was so successful, so here this is! It's more angsty than my previous attempt for this pairing but I really had fun writing it - and the pairing - in a more pairing-like situation, if that makes sense. I also have to give **RPGgirl514** credit for inspiring me with her recent Castle fanfic. Anyway, thanks so much for checking this out and I really hope y'all enjoy! _

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**Scar Tissue**

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It is not the beeping sound that wakes him, but the sound of a hitched breath, the strange interlude between sobs. It is that abrupt noise, shattering his blank state of mind, that causes his fingers to twitch, and - eventually - his eyes to open.

His vision is blurry at first, the shapes he sees look like nothing but odd alien-like figures. It has been the same way each time he's awoken in this place. Kevin Ryan attempts to raise a hand to wipe at his forehead, but feels a strange tugging sensation. His eyes flicker downward, spotting an IV placed expertly in the largest vein in his hand, the tubing winding upward to connect to whatever fluid he was receiving.

He groans.

There is a little sniffle that comes from his side. Ryan wonders who that could possibly be. It seems almost foolish, someone crying over him, and just as that thought crosses his mind, he is shocked by the nonchalance over his own fate.

"You're awake..." the realization is breathless - a little ball of nervousness, fatigue, hopelessness, and a myriad of other emotions all rolled into one. Ryan's heart almost stops in his chest - and wouldn't that be a funny thing for the monitor to pick up?

 _"So, how did he die?"_

 _"Oh, Castle's girl just said two words to him once he woke up. Instant cardiac arrest."_

Is there a hole he can hide in? Anywhere? _No?_ Damn it.

"I can't be," he says, his voice harsh as sandpaper. How long had he been out, after all? "You would only be here if this was a dream."

The next catch in her breath is one of a completely different nature. "You don't mean that."

"Drugs?"

"You haven't had pain medicine in two hours, they tell me."

Ryan almost scoffs. It would be just like her to keep track of something like that.

"Then I mean it."

He hasn't looked at her face since he opened his eyes, and he's not quite sure why. Somehow, the ceiling looks fairly interesting and he can't seem to break his gaze from it. That one piece of spackle really does stick out -

Warm fingers clutch his own. His heart skips at the touch.

"Detective Ryan."

"I thought we agreed that you need to call me Kevin now."

"We're in public," she admits. He can practically see her blush, but can't find it in him to look at her. "I thought it was better if we - "

"You holding my hand isn't exactly subtle," he says, wryly.

But Alexis Castle does not flinch. She has never been the flinching type. If anything, her grip tightens.

"Look at me, please," she requests.

He has never been able to deny her anything. Even with red-streaked eyes and fresh tears on her cheeks, she looks lovely. Her hair is left hanging around her face, and he is reminded vaguely of a lion, fiercely protective of anything belonging to them, even when the odds seem insurmountable. The set of her shoulders is rigid, the clothes she wears seem to be a little looser than normal. He reaches up to brush the sensitive skin beneath her eye, where shadows now stare back at him.

"I hate to say it," Ryan says, spewing out with a joke before he can stop himself. "But you look rough, Lex."

She wrinkles her nose and ducks her head bashfully at the familiar nickname. "Coming from the guy in ICU."

"Is that where I am?"

Alexis looks at him, almost exasperated. "You really don't know how close you were to dying, do you?"

A smile stretches his lip, wry but with dark humor. "I guess pretty close."

She purses her lips at him. Gulps. Looks at their hands, fingers now twined together on top of the garish hospital blanket.

"Hey," he says, voice rougher now, but not from lack of use. "Sorry. I don't mean to be so..."

"Flippant?"

He smiles. "Big word."

"You know what it means," Alexis insists, a smile breaking over her face. It doesn't quite reach her eyes.

"Only because you enlightened me."

"Enlightened," she parrots. "Big word."

Ryan smiles and so wants to embrace her, tangle his fingers in that mane of red hair and breathe her in.

"You were shot..." she trails off.

"Yeah," he whispers. "I remember. Slightly."

"Esposito shot the guy twice," she relates, possibly just to have something to talk about. She must know he's heard this story by now. She runs the fingers of her free hand along the inside of his forearm. It makes a shiver run down his back. "I would have shot him, too, if I could have."

Ryan is slightly shocked, but not - he feels - as shocked as he should be. "You..."

"He almost killed you," she insists, as if he doesn't know this himself. "Shot you as you were chasing him, and then moved to fire at Esposi - "

It is Ryan's turn to grasp her hand. Alexis almost starts at the ferocity of it.

"I would never want you to do something like that for me," he tells her, as serious as he can be in this situation.

"Too bad," she says. The steel in her voice makes him smile despite himself.

It is then that Alexis lays her head down on the side of his bed, pressing her cheek into the rough material of the blanket that covers him. She inhales deeply, shakily.

"I'm glad I didn't lose you," she voices, timidly, a strange contrast to her earlier tone.

Ryan's hand finds her hair and he threads his fingers through it, almost absently. She gives a sigh in approval.

"Yeah," he replies. "Me too."

So, the two of them sit, in a painfully simple manner - but that's how it's always been with the two of them; simple, easy, natural - in the silence of the hospital room, nothing heard but the soft sounds of one another's breathing.

 _And, really,_ Ryan muses as his eyes slide shut while the sweet feel of silk is beneath his fingertips, _that's the most important sound of all._

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 _ **End.**_


End file.
